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There will be times when clients become inadvertently aroused. If massage therapists mistake an inadvertent arousal for an intentional invitation for sex and admonish their clients by prematurely ending a session or getting angry, they risk adding more embarrassment to that which may already exist for the clients. It is completely normal to become aroused by caring touch. This arousal should not be mistaken as a violation. Only if clients demand that therapists do something about it does it become a violation of boundaries.

A woman may get excited during a massage, but it is much easier for her to hide this than it is for a man. When a man gets aroused on my massage table, assuming that I have made my boundaries clear, I will let him know that there is nothing to worry about, as it can be a normal reaction to a massage. If he does not seem bothered by his arousal and say something such as, “No worries” or “Thanks for letting me know” or “ I hope it’s not bothering you,” I will just keep massaging and do nothing more. If, however, it seems that he is uncomfortable, I might choose to work farther away form the genital region, moving gracefully to the feet, hands or head to help diffuse the energy. When a client is really open about his arousal and asks for help in dealing with it, I work with him to channel that energy to other parts of his body.

Another client of mine says, “I came to Leslie for massage, needing some touch in my life. I was in a serious marriage for 15 years. In the process of being touched I felt myself becoming aroused. At first I was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do about all this locked-up sexual energy. Leslie invited me to envision that my genitals were the center of the sun and the energy coming out of that region was the rays. She had me send the rays of energy throughout my entire body, and when I did I felt the sexual energy move to my heart and I began to cry. This was an amazing healing experience. After working with my sexual energy like this, I learned to trust that experiencing an arousal did not mean that I had to act on it.”

When clear boundaries are set and honored, working with arousal ina safe, loving and creative fashion can shift a situation with the potential for violation into a transformational experience. It is an opportunity for therapists to deepen the relationship with their clients. But boundaries alone are not enough. Therapists must hole very clear intentions of not being sexual with their clients and not send mixed messages through their hands. Therapists who are clear about their intentions and limits are able to work more closely with their clients without risking misinterpretations.

An experienced massage therapist shares, “I work very intimately with my clients, allowing my body and eyes to make contact with theirs, and yet never have any of my clients interpreted my close contact as permission or an invitation to be sexual with me. This has much to do with the intention I hold of sacred space. It is so clear and strong within me that it leaves no room for confusion. My clients and I both enjoy a deep connection without being concerned that it will lead to anything but what it is, a therapeutic massage.”

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